The Story of Schlauraffen Land

In the time of Schlauraffen I went forth and saw Rome and the lateran hanging by a small silken thread, and a man without feet who outran a swift horse, and a keen sharp sword that cut through a bridge.

I saw a young ass with a silver nose which pursued two fleet hares, and a lime-tree that was very large, on which hot cakes were growing. I saw a lean old goat which carried about a hundred cart-loads of fat on his body, and sixty loads of salt. Have I not told enough lies.

I saw a plough ploughing without horse or cow, and a child of one year threw four millstones from Ratisbon to Treves, and from Treves to Strasburg, and a hawk swam over the rhine, which he had a perfect right to do. I heard some fishes begin to make such a disturbance with each other, that it resounded as far as heaven, and sweet honey flowed like water from a deep valley to the top of a high mountain, and these were strange things.

There were two crows which were mowing a meadow, and I saw two gnats building a bridge, and two doves tore a wolf to pieces, two children brought forth two kids, and two frogs threshed corn together. I saw two mice consecrating a bishop, and two cats scratching out a bear’s tongue.

Then a snail came running up and killed two furious lions. There stood a barber and shaved a woman’s beard off, and two sucking-children bade their mother hold her tongue. There I saw two greyhounds which brought a mill out of the water, and a broken-down old horse was beside it, and said it was right.

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And four horses were standing in the yard threshing corn with all their might, and two goats were heating the stove, and a red cow shot the bread into the oven. Then a hen crowed, cock-a-doodle-doo. The story is all told, cock-a-doodle-doo.

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