All In The Family Way – A New Pastoral Ballad by Thomas Moore

(SUNG IN THE CHARACTER OF BRITANNIA.)

“The Public Debt is due from ourselves to ourselves, and resolves itself into a Family Account.”–Sir Robert Peel’s Letter.

Tune–My banks are all furnisht with bees.

My banks are all furnisht with rags,
So thick, even Freddy can’t thin ’em;
I’ve torn up my old money-bags,
Having little or nought to put in ’em.
My tradesmen are smashing by dozens,
But this is all nothing, they say;
For bankrupts since Adam are cousins,–
So, it’s all in the family way.

My Debt not a penny takes from me.
As sages the matter explain;–
Bob owes it to Tom, and then Tommy
Just owes it to Bob back again.
Since all have thus taken to owing,
There’s nobody left that can pay;
And this is the way to keep going,–
All quite in the family way.

My senators vote away millions,
To put in Prosperity’s budget;
And tho’ it were billions or trillions,
The generous rogues wouldn’t grudge it.
‘Tis all but a family hop,
‘Twas Pitt began dancing the hay;
Hands round!–why the deuce should we stop?
‘Tis all in the family way.

My laborers used to eat mutton,
As any great man of the State does;
And now the poor devils are put on
Small rations of tea and potatoes.
But cheer up, John, Sawney, and Paddy,
The King is your father, they say;
So even if you starve for your Daddy,
‘Tis all in the family way.

My rich manufacturers tumble,
My poor ones have nothing to chew;
And even if themselves do not grumble
Their stomachs undoubtedly do.
But coolly to fast en famille,
Is as good for the soul as to pray;
And famine itself is genteel,
When one starves in a family way.

I have found out a secret for Freddy,
A secret for next Budget day;
Tho’ perhaps he may know it already,
As he too’s a sage in his way.
When next for the Treasury scene he
Announces “the Devil to pay,”
Let him write on the bills, “nota bene,
“‘Tis all in the family way.”